Adventure

Where’s Your Stoke?

This photo: #momlife at 11,000 feet.

Ana was so excited to ski with mom and dad this morning. Big stoke. But then getting dressed and the boots and the walk with the gear and the chill got the best of her. Her excitement waned. ”Where’d your stoke go?” I asked her.

Do you ever talk to your kids and feel like you are speaking directly to yourself? This happens to me ALL. THE. TIME. when I am disciplining my Ana. She may not be my flesh and blood, but she is my heart and soul, and good Lord all of the things I need to talk to her about I am usually giving myself a good talking to as well. I get about halfway through my lecture (have a long way to go on being a perfect parent) and am like, “oh goodness, I do that too.”

Anyway, back to the stoke. Hers went on vacation for a hot minute. It was nothing a little music from the frozen soundtrack and a couple of gummy bears couldn’t conjure back up. We went out and had a great morning. But it led me to think about my stoke. It’s been ebbing and flowing this past year. It’s like my stoke has been playing hide and seek with me. At least it’s still fun and games, but I hate when I can’t find it! Like I said in my last post, I want 2020 to be “extra.” Which means extra stoke. When mine goes on vacation, I usually need a nap, or an outdoor adventure, or a daydream, or the time of the month to shift. Hot showers and country music help too.

How’s your stoke right now? Does it ebb and flow? When it’s hiding, what things help you find it again?

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Embracing the Minimalist Life

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“The things you own end up owning you.” – Name that movie!?

In 2010, pre-kids, Big Beard and I (just two of us!) lived in a five bedroom house in Portland. At the time, it actually felt kinda small! Now we’ve flip flopped. There are five of us in a two bedroom condo, and I seriously think we could downsize! I’m just loving the simplicity, organization, and freedom that owning less crap has brought.

Last week when we were out of town we were stoked to host our first Airbnb guests in our home. A friend asked, “when you have renters, what are you going to do with all your stuff?”

Ummm, what stuff? If it’s not something you need in the home for a renter, and if it’s not something you’d bring with you when you travel, do you really even need it?

We have a new motto in our house… “When in doubt, toss it out!” So far, we have not regretted one single thing we’ve gotten rid of!!

I’d love to hear from you. Are you sentimental about things? What are some things you store away that are super important (what am I going to regret not keeping down the road?!!)? Are there things you are storing away that should probably be recycled?

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We All Belong

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My husband told me that when he was younger, growing up in Florida, he kinda always felt like he didn’t belong. I guess I felt the same way in Arizona, but I had never named it. Then @bigbeardcreative came out west in his early twenties and realized he had a place in the world.

Have you ever collected beautiful seashells when visiting the ocean, and then brought them home with you only to find that once away from the water they completely lose their luster?

I think people are kinda like that. Once we find where we belong, we shine. Take us out of that setting, and we can sit dull and smelling like stinky ocean on the shelf.

Our family has been working hard to collect seashells these last few days while we visit the coast. Instead of taking them home we’re gonna put them right back in the sea where they sparkle. Friends out there, I hope you’re living into lives and in places that allow you to sparkle too. We all belong. Part of life’s journey is figuring out where. ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨

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Climb On

“Stop there little buddy, that’s high enough.”

“Any farther isn’t safe.”

“You could fall.”

“If you go too high, I won’t be able to reach you if you lose your balance.”

Oh man. Sometimes I’m sooooo not okay with how I parent. I mean, is this the kind of adult I want to raise??? Too scared to test the branches? So reliant on other people’s perspective of what’s safe? Over-parented to the point he can’t trust his own instincts? Too cautious to CHANGE THE WORLD? *

“The words you speak become the house you live in.”
I have no idea who said that, but I saw it on a vintage poster as I was scrolling Insta last night. So much wisdom in those sponsored shopping ads, ya know?

Instead of squashing out all that inner, awesome, childish drive, how ’bout using words that are more like…

“How high do you want to climb today?”
“How will you decide when you’ve gone high enough?”
“How will you determine if a branch is strong enough to hold you, before you risk putting all your weight on it?”
“What’s your plan if you go beyond my reach, and then need help getting down?”
“Do you feel balanced?”

Please understand I’m not just talking about climbing trees here.

The ability to make thoughtful decisions might be one of the most important skills we can teach out kids (helllooooo teenage pressures). It’s a skill that doesn’t have to be learned in the classroom, and perhaps cannot be learned in the classroom? It’s a skill that sure can’t be learned on many of today’s school playgrounds, since trees are often eliminated due to their unpredictability. True story. How sad is that?

Dude, life is unpredictable.

In twenty years, when my kid is about to make an important *risky* decision, that will impact that greater good of all the universe forevermore until the end of time (a mom can dream, right?), do I really want my mom voice in the back of his or her (totally adorable and brilliant) head saying, “better stop there kiddo, any further isn’t safe.”

Heeeeccckkk no. Climb on little buddies. Test the branches, trust your instincts, have a plan, and climb. the frick. on.

The end.

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Wild Magic

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Wild Magic ✨

Do your kids like to hike? Ours don’t. But our family does go on a ton of really fun hikes! (Shhhh, don’t tell our kids.) These are known to our children as adventures, grasshopper catching expeditions, treasure hunts, animal track-finding excursions, dinosaur explorations, and troll and fairy quests.

Sometimes our hikes involve stories to up the level of engagement. On our hike last weekend, “Kids, last night, I woke up in the middle of the night and something caught my eye out the window… (pause dramatically). There were sparkles, cascading down, and glowing fairies dancing about…” The story went on and on, and ended with… Ana (7 years old): “Mom. Wait. Seriously. Is this real?” 🧚🏾‍♀️

“Hmmm,” I pondered, “do you have magic in your heart?”

Our hikes with our kids are 97% about the journey, not the destination. The kids are too little to make it about the destination.

But duuuuude, what if we lived life like that, everyday, no matter our age? I’m not saying don’t have goals and dreams to aspire to… I’m just saying, what if we enjoyed the ride a little more?

A few weeks ago we headed out for a family “adventure.” Ana’s hiking attire that day pushed even me out of my comfort zone. (Because, blisters and dirt and burrs and you know, all the things.) She was in the house wearing an Elsa dress. (Ironic?) We were trying to get out the door, so we just went with it.

Let me tell ya, something as simple as adding a costume made for one dreamy, imaginative, whimsical experience in the woods together. It was an awesome reminder to let go of rules and shoulds and have-tos and “the normal way” more often and just go with the flow. It was 100% about the journey that day.

✨ Wild Magic. ✨

“Is it real?”

I don’t know. But it sure seems worth believing in. ✨

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Rules to Live By

Headed to the Golden Coast today for a girls trip. I’ve been up since 4am, excited. I feel like a little kid. Just came across this beach pic from February, and thought that as I watch the clock march toward morning I’d might as well share a fun little thing that helps me remember family values / rules to live by.

Maybe you’ll be able to use it too!?
Put your hand up. 🖐

1. Thumb 👍 Thumbs up for a good attitude and a good time.
2. Pointer☝️ Point out the cool stuff. Be bold! Include others in your world. Share what you see and how you see it.
3. Middle (I legit can’t find that emoji. Which is convenient.) Forget about the haters. There will always be negativity. Block it out and rise up.
4. Ring Finger 💍 Commit to the people and goals and things you hold dear. Keep your promises.
5. Pinkie. Chill the heck out. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
6. All five ✋ stick together. The strength of the pack is the wolf. And the strength of the wolf is the pack. *
7. All ten 🙌 Gratitude. Thank you God!

Do you know any fun little tricks to remember / keep you focused on what’s important? Happy almost weekend!!

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Get Outside for Childhood Memories

I’m in the process of conducting interviews for camp counselors for our summer camp, Camp Smashbox. The interviews typically go a little something like this… the applicant walks in nervous. They answer the first few questions looking and sounding anxious. For some of our employees this is their first job, or first interview ever, so they just aren’t relaxed.

And then about half way through the discussion I ask them to tell me about their favorite childhood memories…

WITHOUT FAIL, before the question is even entirely spoken, I watch their shoulders drop and their body relax. Their eyes light up, their demeanor changes, they shift in their seat – lean forward – and the spark I’ve been waiting for takes over the conversation. Their tone is animated as they begin talking about imaginative things and outdoor play and important people. I am obsessed with this phenomenon.

Outdoor creative childhood play you guys. It’s magic. ✨

What are some of your favorite childhood memories? And when you think about them, do you feel yourself relax? Does a smile creep across your face? Are your memories outdoors? Do they include other people? Tell me! Tell me! I want to know if these things are as widespread as I suspect they are.

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Jump In

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I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught myself, or heard other parents, telling their kids not to do something that really would be a great learning opportunity if we could just learn to stay quiet.

Back in the day when kids had the chance to play outside without adults hovering over them, they were able to learn so many things as a RESULT of a CHOICE – not due to a warning from moooommmm.

Icy puddles are cold! Next time I’ll think about that.
Swinging a stick can hurt someone. Next time I’ll think about that.
Getting sand in the tent is annoying. Next time I’ll think about that.
Getting my church clothes dirty is… not really that big of a deal and God doesn’t care anyway… maybe next time I still won’t think about that. 🤪

I’m constantly catching myself (usually after the fact) parenting in ways that are more socially acceptable and less true to what I believe to be beneficial and awesome and so so good for our kids.

Minor risks build character. Learning from experience builds actual skills. And overcoming obstacles builds critical thinking, creativity, perseverance and problem solving capabilities.

I see you looking at that mud puddle little buddy, and I like it. Jump in. With both feet. Because that’s the kind of adult I want you to be. And you are practicing becoming that person Right. About. Now. ❤️

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Copy the Moves

Last week I went to a training on positive development. One of the activities they had us do was dance with a stranger. Can you say AWKWARD??

Before they told us the activity they had us grab a partner we didn’t know and pick a person A and a person B. They then told us that they were going to play music for 30 seconds and that person A would have to dance, and person B would have to mimic. I was slightly horrified.

Then they made us switch, and we had to endure the embarrassment for another full 30 seconds!

Part 3 of the activity was the most telling. We weren’t to mimic anyone. We were just supposed to dance. Our own moves. For 30 seconds.

Keep in mind this was a day time, professional people training. The lights were bright, the refreshment table was serving just water, and we were among strangers.

While we all got through rounds 1 and 2 and people were getting a little funky with it, the room was oddly more calm and still when we had to go it alone. Nobody had anybody to follow! And the intent of purposefully leading someone else was gone too.

You guys! Dancing… and life… are so much easier to pull off when you have someone’s moves to copy.

The friend in this pic right here is a total answer to prayer. Like for real, an answer to prayer. She’s my pastor, mentor, boss, parenting coach, leadership role model and friend. And travel companion this weekend. I am so grateful I have her to watch and that I don’t have to come up with all my own dance moves. Girl has got it going on.

Do you have someone in your life who’s got great moves? If so, share this post with them to say thank you! 🙂

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Perspective

Last night our baby hardly slept at all. She lost her fav paci this weekend and we didn’t realize what a catastrophe this was until 11 pm became 2am became 4am. Needless to say, I’m TIRED.

I woke up this morning after an hour of sleep and I kid you not my very first thought was, “shit, today is going to suck.” Um. Of course it would with that attitude!

I was riding the chair lift up the mountain with another solo momma last week. We got to talking. She was visiting from San Fransisco. It had been snowing here for a solid 24 hours. She had already been skiing all morning and it was my first run of the day. “Yeah, I went over to the other side of the mountain for my last few laps,” she said, “but it’s much better over here.”

“Oh,” I replied, contemplating what she had said. “What do you mean, ‘better’?” I asked.

“Well the powder is really deep over there,” she said, “much easier skiing over here.”

Um. Glad I asked. …………

It was nearing the end of autumn and I was chatting with a friend on the phone. “It is dumping snow over here,” she said. “We are going to be in for a looonnnng winter.”

Um. Or the best winter in a really really really long time.

There are two sides to every coin and there’s a bright side to most dark days. Just a little reminder when you’re super tired, like me, or super snowed in, like my friends. Sometimes we just need to adjust our googles and view life through a different lens.

And on a side note, how handsome is the view in mine? (husband) ;P

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