Where’s Your Stoke?

This photo: #momlife at 11,000 feet.

Ana was so excited to ski with mom and dad this morning. Big stoke. But then getting dressed and the boots and the walk with the gear and the chill got the best of her. Her excitement waned. ”Where’d your stoke go?” I asked her.

Do you ever talk to your kids and feel like you are speaking directly to yourself? This happens to me ALL. THE. TIME. when I am disciplining my Ana. She may not be my flesh and blood, but she is my heart and soul, and good Lord all of the things I need to talk to her about I am usually giving myself a good talking to as well. I get about halfway through my lecture (have a long way to go on being a perfect parent) and am like, “oh goodness, I do that too.”

Anyway, back to the stoke. Hers went on vacation for a hot minute. It was nothing a little music from the frozen soundtrack and a couple of gummy bears couldn’t conjure back up. We went out and had a great morning. But it led me to think about my stoke. It’s been ebbing and flowing this past year. It’s like my stoke has been playing hide and seek with me. At least it’s still fun and games, but I hate when I can’t find it! Like I said in my last post, I want 2020 to be “extra.” Which means extra stoke. When mine goes on vacation, I usually need a nap, or an outdoor adventure, or a daydream, or the time of the month to shift. Hot showers and country music help too.

How’s your stoke right now? Does it ebb and flow? When it’s hiding, what things help you find it again?

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Embracing the Minimalist Life

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“The things you own end up owning you.” – Name that movie!?

In 2010, pre-kids, Big Beard and I (just two of us!) lived in a five bedroom house in Portland. At the time, it actually felt kinda small! Now we’ve flip flopped. There are five of us in a two bedroom condo, and I seriously think we could downsize! I’m just loving the simplicity, organization, and freedom that owning less crap has brought.

Last week when we were out of town we were stoked to host our first Airbnb guests in our home. A friend asked, “when you have renters, what are you going to do with all your stuff?”

Ummm, what stuff? If it’s not something you need in the home for a renter, and if it’s not something you’d bring with you when you travel, do you really even need it?

We have a new motto in our house… “When in doubt, toss it out!” So far, we have not regretted one single thing we’ve gotten rid of!!

I’d love to hear from you. Are you sentimental about things? What are some things you store away that are super important (what am I going to regret not keeping down the road?!!)? Are there things you are storing away that should probably be recycled?

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Climb On

“Stop there little buddy, that’s high enough.”

“Any farther isn’t safe.”

“You could fall.”

“If you go too high, I won’t be able to reach you if you lose your balance.”

Oh man. Sometimes I’m sooooo not okay with how I parent. I mean, is this the kind of adult I want to raise??? Too scared to test the branches? So reliant on other people’s perspective of what’s safe? Over-parented to the point he can’t trust his own instincts? Too cautious to CHANGE THE WORLD? *

“The words you speak become the house you live in.”
I have no idea who said that, but I saw it on a vintage poster as I was scrolling Insta last night. So much wisdom in those sponsored shopping ads, ya know?

Instead of squashing out all that inner, awesome, childish drive, how ’bout using words that are more like…

“How high do you want to climb today?”
“How will you decide when you’ve gone high enough?”
“How will you determine if a branch is strong enough to hold you, before you risk putting all your weight on it?”
“What’s your plan if you go beyond my reach, and then need help getting down?”
“Do you feel balanced?”

Please understand I’m not just talking about climbing trees here.

The ability to make thoughtful decisions might be one of the most important skills we can teach out kids (helllooooo teenage pressures). It’s a skill that doesn’t have to be learned in the classroom, and perhaps cannot be learned in the classroom? It’s a skill that sure can’t be learned on many of today’s school playgrounds, since trees are often eliminated due to their unpredictability. True story. How sad is that?

Dude, life is unpredictable.

In twenty years, when my kid is about to make an important *risky* decision, that will impact that greater good of all the universe forevermore until the end of time (a mom can dream, right?), do I really want my mom voice in the back of his or her (totally adorable and brilliant) head saying, “better stop there kiddo, any further isn’t safe.”

Heeeeccckkk no. Climb on little buddies. Test the branches, trust your instincts, have a plan, and climb. the frick. on.

The end.

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It’ll Be Fun, They Said

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I love me some holiday traditions, and cutting down our own Christmas tree is one of my favs.

What you don’t see in this picture are Harley’s tears cuz her hands were cold, and Ana’s tears cuz her feet were wet, and Ziggy’s tears cuz the snow was deep, and my super sweet mom-friend Emily who ignored her own kids tears to come to my hot mess rescue (I guess I mean cold mess – is that a thing?) because sometimes (okay, all-the-times) three little humans feels like a freakin’ lot to manage. And dad was too busy to help with the tears cuz he was off doing man things like sawing down a dang tree.

Nevertheless. Traditions are awesome, and the tears all dried (after they froze), and hot chocolate at the end of a harrowing journey in the woods has a way of making the world feel right and good again.

Oh, and our 12 foot Charlie Brown tree is 👌. (Well it was 12 feet… until we realized the diameter of a 12 foot tree is a little… imposing… on a 900 sq ft home. So then I took scissors to the bottom branches to allow access to our hallway… and then it resembled more of a diamond shape than a cone… so then we wacked off the bottom… and now we’re left with an 8 foot tree. And our 8 foot Charlie Brown tree is 👌.)

But the other thing that’s 👌 is that I have a horrible memory. So when the annual tree cutting extravaganza presents itself as a “fun” holiday option again next winter, I will happily oblige. In case you didn’t catch it, I’m a sucker for a good family tradition.

What are your fav holiday traditions?

XO,

Cold Kara

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