Where’s Your Stoke?

This photo: #momlife at 11,000 feet.

Ana was so excited to ski with mom and dad this morning. Big stoke. But then getting dressed and the boots and the walk with the gear and the chill got the best of her. Her excitement waned. ”Where’d your stoke go?” I asked her.

Do you ever talk to your kids and feel like you are speaking directly to yourself? This happens to me ALL. THE. TIME. when I am disciplining my Ana. She may not be my flesh and blood, but she is my heart and soul, and good Lord all of the things I need to talk to her about I am usually giving myself a good talking to as well. I get about halfway through my lecture (have a long way to go on being a perfect parent) and am like, “oh goodness, I do that too.”

Anyway, back to the stoke. Hers went on vacation for a hot minute. It was nothing a little music from the frozen soundtrack and a couple of gummy bears couldn’t conjure back up. We went out and had a great morning. But it led me to think about my stoke. It’s been ebbing and flowing this past year. It’s like my stoke has been playing hide and seek with me. At least it’s still fun and games, but I hate when I can’t find it! Like I said in my last post, I want 2020 to be “extra.” Which means extra stoke. When mine goes on vacation, I usually need a nap, or an outdoor adventure, or a daydream, or the time of the month to shift. Hot showers and country music help too.

How’s your stoke right now? Does it ebb and flow? When it’s hiding, what things help you find it again?

Living “Extra”

Having so much fun with the cousins in Arizona!!

I had the kids all tucked into their little closet floor bed tonight at my sisters house… and then a joke was told about butts (big mistake) and one thing led to another and sleep was postponed an hour and we laughed and giggled in a circle by flashlight and a night that should have been ordinary became a little extra and the bedtime that should have ended at “lights out,” became, like this sentence, a complete run on. “Tell the story about the cactus!!” “Tell the story about the eggs!!” “Tell the story about the slide!” And on it went.

When I turned 13 years old I got to bring a bunch of friends to a hotel for a sleepover. We went for a night swim and climbed / snuck up the closed / dry water slide. When we got to the top we really wanted to slide down, but a water slide needs water to be fun. Or, it needs at least some sort of liquid. ”Teamwork makes the dream work,” they say, and there was a decent sized group of us so… urine luck? 😬 Together we managed to “pool our resources” and found ourselves slipping and sliding in no time. (I know, 13 year old me was vile and disgusting and I should be ashamed of myself… but also,a little proud?) My kids love that story, about the ordinary birthday party that turned into something… extra.

On the topic of pools, last month we were visiting Adams parents in Florida and my 4 year old was standing at the side of the pool getting ready to cannonball. “Mom, jump with me?!?” I totally hesitated. My in-laws were watching and I’m wayyy not stoked on my body in a bathing suit right now. Also, I was wearing a lot of not waterproof mascara and didn’t particularly want to get my face wet. Also, enter any number of excuses here as to why, at that moment, I was going to choose to say no to doing something that, as an adult, was just a fraction more than ordinary. That day I chose extra. Bombs away!

I have been thinking seriously about 2020 and have come to the conclusion that I want this year to be a series of small extras, within our family, that lead to a big impact. A broken bedtime and a chubby cannonball draw me further out of my comfort zone and closer to the hearts of my kids. It’s growth all around.

Memories are not made, stories are not collected, in a space that is routine, comfortable, normal or ordinary.

Ordinary + Ordinary does not equal Extraordinary.

Hoping that I can remember to make 2020 a year of small extras. What do you think? What are your resolutions? And, for a super important question, who wants to go swimming with me??

Jump In

Screen Shot 2019-10-28 at 9.40.53 AM

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught myself, or heard other parents, telling their kids not to do something that really would be a great learning opportunity if we could just learn to stay quiet.

Back in the day when kids had the chance to play outside without adults hovering over them, they were able to learn so many things as a RESULT of a CHOICE – not due to a warning from moooommmm.

Icy puddles are cold! Next time I’ll think about that.
Swinging a stick can hurt someone. Next time I’ll think about that.
Getting sand in the tent is annoying. Next time I’ll think about that.
Getting my church clothes dirty is… not really that big of a deal and God doesn’t care anyway… maybe next time I still won’t think about that. 🤪

I’m constantly catching myself (usually after the fact) parenting in ways that are more socially acceptable and less true to what I believe to be beneficial and awesome and so so good for our kids.

Minor risks build character. Learning from experience builds actual skills. And overcoming obstacles builds critical thinking, creativity, perseverance and problem solving capabilities.

I see you looking at that mud puddle little buddy, and I like it. Jump in. With both feet. Because that’s the kind of adult I want you to be. And you are practicing becoming that person Right. About. Now. ❤️

Screen Shot 2019-10-28 at 9.41.10 AM